12's sentence for "discovered": I found a snail today. It was next to a squirr-ellllllll.
12: Has there ever been a religious ed teacher who didn't such.
dangersecond: Rafi's Biblical Lit teacher was pretty cool.
12: Did he put on shades and say "God is cool. Your test is on how God is cool".
12: Did you ever have a teacher named Mr. Quiche? It would be cool if he had quiche for lunch every day.
12: The Bible is lame they are like "Thy would like a donut, well thy shall not have one. Thy shall have an hotdogeth".
dangersecond: That's wrong, 12, you need to fix it.
12: I have to write it wrong so that people will understand it! People aren't smart these days!
12's definition of living things: All living things poop and all living things get choke slammed.
12 (while I was trying to teach her about test taking strategies): Will you repeat your question which I forgot to listen to?
12 (While I am scolding her a little for not listening to me enough): Oh! I see the error of my ways!
dangersecond: You do?
12: Yes. You can draw on scotch tape but not on clear packing tape!
12 (When asked a question about her reading): I'm on call waiting. I have to wait until my brain picks up.
12: I wish Vyktor (my neighbor's cat who I had talked about before) was my step dad.
12: Would it be awesome if you had a quiz on oranges?
12: My stomach hurts.
dangersecond: Is it because you ate nothing but bacon today?
12: No, its because of all the BACON.
12 (While doing math): I like cream cake. What is that?
12 (singing to the tune of "Tomorrow" from Annie while doing math): Tomorrow! Tomorrow! We're gonna dissect you!
12's dietary advice: If you can bake it, broil it, eat it raw or do anything else to it, its gonna taste better deep fried.
12: I don't like writing "Q", "X" or "Z" because they are letters people don't use every day.
dangersecond: Some people do. My friend Alex has "X" in his name.
12: Oh, so I guess he knows it pretty well by now, huh?
dangersecond: Well, he graduated from college last year, so I think he knows most of them pretty well.
dangersecond: Oh! Today is Grethal's birthday!
12: Grethal is like Gretchen plus Nathaniel plus leave me alone I hate my life!
The following were said while 12 was working on a fake obituary for Miguel de Cervantes for her history class:
12: Can I put smiley faces in my obituary?
12 (to herself while trying to spell "believe"): L before E if you're full of bees...
12 (I looked over and she had typed this in her obituary): His mother was Jesus and liked curtains.
12 (Describing how Cervantes was wounded in battle): During the battle he was shot thrice, once in the hand and he took two to the chest.
(NOTE: I love, love, love having the formality of the word "thrice" next to the phrase "two to the chest". Dammit, I love 12).
dangersecond: Do you know how to spell "attempting"?
12: Yes! Duh!
(a minute passes)
12: Um, what comes after the "A"?
(Cervantes was held prisoner in Algiers for several years. 12 insists on calling it "The Algiers" although I am always telling her that's not correct)
12: Come to The Algiers! Enjoy a tropical vacation in slavery! Hey, is there anyone who would pay money for that?
dangersecond: ...Um, maybe.
12: For, like, historical purposes?
dangersecond: Yes. I'm sure that's it.
12 (writing the obituary): During his days in prison he planned four escapes. None of them were successful but its the thought that counts...
(the following are no longer related to Cervantes)
12: When I walked up to your car, you and your boyfriend looked like a couple of dead dogs doing the hand jive.
12 (regarding hats in her parents' office): I have to take my hat off because I don't have any rights, freedom of expression or free will.
Finally, 12's treatment for a Sci-Fi movie. Sometimes, when we have extra time, I make up enrichment assignments for her to do which use her brain. This is what she came up with when I asked her to outline the plot of a Sci-Fi movie:
1) The world is split in half.
2) The world is not actually split in half.
3) World dies despite recycling.
4) Scientists sucked the oceans into a ziplock.
5) Send in a rocket to Mars.
6) Wait two years.
7) Ship people to outer space and stuff.
8) Sadly, when the world ends there will still be some people. They will be very sad that their mom has died.
(I love how steps 5-7 sort of turn more into a plan than a plot for a story. Typical 12 :P)
I had some time away from 12 for the holiday where I ate too much, slept too much and had too much fun hanging out with my friends. But tomorrow it is back to work, and to awesome things.
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